oh sylvia

today i will fall asleep and drift into a warm purgatory among the babys breath and poppy
my words are oblivious to mortality 
each second warms me and settles my thoughts 
slowly crawling back into a damp reality, but no fear holds blanket up to my eyes 
i heard the hiss of the gentle assassin, it's blinded metallic tongue licking at my conscious thoughts, the rising pressure conforms a smile to my lips,
 i am a godless woman, but i pray aimlessly for no more pain. 


my words will always carry my blood like strong veins directly to your heart
after I have stopped breathing 
you will always have a piece of me 
i have thrown a wrench of heartache into the workings of my own machine, it softens my bones, and i suffocate happily in the invisible stream. 

push

and if your going to write a song about me, make sure you get all the references right,
make sure the pitch and tone of your voice emulate just enough pain, to make every girl that hears it simply want to die
when you get her in your bed
touch her and ask her how she's doing
they always have the same answers, i always knew what you wanted right from the look in your eyes



i need a glass of water and another round of vicodin
forget about the diet, and all your dead best friends

babe, a deeper breath than that

without being overtly obvious, your hands remind me of him

the whole time it was so so easy
it only hurt when I told him you were better.

your summer kiss haunts me all winter

as the motel ceiling came back into focus, you asked what it feels like

i mouthed the reply

" it feels like taking a fucking bullet"

you laughed, but I wasn't finished

"right between the eyes"

get the fuck out of my head. 

resin and ashes

here is some required thinking

nothing hurt,
you were calm and collected
my fingers were bent back
and you were inhaling the smoke and laughing

you

he half choked, " I want you to show me what hell really looks like"
i stepped back and half screamed " Then look me in the fucking eyes"

do you remember the summer when...

a girl always needs a fallback.


give me big black open spaces, between mountains, oh your rivers are raging in my veins, your roots grow deep inside me.